A few years ago, I had the chance to visit Argentina for work. Though it was rare for me to have spare time on business trips, I was lucky enough to have two days to explore Buenos Aires.
After visiting La Bombonera, the famous football stadium alive with the spirit of Maradona, I found myself immersed in another symbol of Argentina: the Tango. It’s a captivating dance that perfectly symbolizes the delicate balance between advancing and holding back. Each step is measured, every movement restrained—much like our inner dialogue, where the “what ifs” can become invisible brakes.
What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if I make a mistake? What if they laugh at me? These questions echo in our minds, paralyzing us and sabotaging our energy.
But what if we changed dance partners? What if, instead of being held back by these thoughts, we transformed them into engines of action?
Let’s explore the nature of limiting thoughts and how they work.
The Hidden Role of “What Ifs…”
Negative “what ifs” are actually defense mechanisms designed to protect us from failure or pain. One of the brain’s core functions is to shield us from experiences it deems unpleasant. For example:
…”What if I make a mistake?” is often linked to the fear of judgment or the worry that you’re not good enough.
…”What if I’m not competent?” might stem from impostor syndrome, the feeling that you don’t deserve your success or place.
These “what ifs” act as psychological brakes, keeping you within your comfort zone. By nature, the brain prefers habit and safety over uncertainty and risk, even if that means staying stuck. These brakes often prevent us from seizing opportunities, trying new things, or making bold changes—whether in career, relationships, or lifestyle.
“What if I’m not good enough?” stops us before we even start. We question whether we’re capable or qualified.
“What if they laugh at me?” can be a huge obstacle, stopping people from speaking up or sharing ideas, thus preventing recognition or the opportunity to inspire an audience that’s ready to listen.
“What if I fail?” is perhaps the champion of paralyzing “what ifs.” It’s easy to stay in a status quo out of fear of missteps.
These thoughts create a vicious cycle: the more we fear failure or judgment, the more we hesitate to act, which only reinforces those fears. Inaction becomes a way of protecting ourselves from mistakes or rejection. However, this also limits our growth and achievements. While comfort feels nice, it’s the #1 enemy of your evolution, your ability to adapt, feel proud, and find happiness.
All these negative “what ifs” end up making you stagnate, causing you to miss out on opportunities to discover your true potential—at any age.
It’s time to reverse the Tango steps and change your perspective!
The Power of Positive “What Ifs”
Each “what if” can be used as a tool for openness and optimism, where every “what if” becomes an opportunity instead of a threat.
It’s all about reprogramming your mind and training yourself to see situations from a positive angle. Instead of “What if I fail?” you could change the course of the dance to “What if I succeed?” which opens you up to the possibility of positive outcomes. This shift in perspective pushes you to act.
When faced with the fear of failure, try asking, “What if I learn something new?” This promotes a growth mindset, where mistakes are seen as opportunities to learn.
The fear of not being good enough can be replaced with “What if I discover I’m more capable than I thought?”—recognizing the possibility that you have hidden potential and strengths, waiting to be revealed.
Finally, turn obstacles into opportunities with “What if this challenge is actually a disguised opportunity?” for growth and evolution.
The Role of Mental Conditioning
Like the Tango, this practice requires training… In the beginning, you might step on your own feet (or those of your partner), but with practice, you’ll become a skilled dancer.
Your negative thought patterns are often deeply ingrained, influenced by past beliefs, experiences, and even the way you were raised. However, with consistent practice, you can gradually transform these patterns. It’s about technique, repetition, and consistency—step by step, movement by movement.
We see this in sports, where a team that’s losing at halftime turns the game around and wins. Or an entrepreneur who initially fears failure but, by changing their perspective, builds a thriving business.
Similarly, a professional seeking a more fulfilling position can overcome their limiting “what ifs” and see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. The examples are endless… all it takes is recognizing them and changing your focus.
Like the Tango, your thoughts can harmonize and lead you to new horizons, creating new thought patterns. Ultimately, it’s up to you to choose who you want to dance with. The “what ifs” will always be there, but it’s your choice whether they hold you back or propel you into a dance full of new possibilities.
As Bruce Lipton wisely says, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Curious to learn techniques to shift your perspective? Tips to lead the dance with positivity, step by step? I may not be a Tango expert, but changing perspectives has been a central part of my life for quite some time now…
So, shall we dance? I’m only a click away.
At PointNorth International, we help leaders, entrepreneurs, and individuals in career transition build a personal and professional life that truly aligns with their dreams and values. If you’re navigating a career change, reach out to us to schedule a discovery call where we can explore how best to support you.
